Manifesting Destiny
I haven't done a damn thing I don't love doing today.
Come to think of it, I haven't done anything this week or month that hasn't been exactly what I set out to do. It's taken a very long time to get here but the path I set in motion nearly 20 years ago has paved my way to manifest this destiny.
Many times when I'm coaching and working with those I mentor, they ask me how it's been done. It's not been easy but there are some key points that I've noticed have kept me pointed in the right direction and how I've assisted the manifestation process. And so, below is a story and workbook for how you too can do what you love ALL THE TIME. It's never too late to follow your heart, but the sooner you start the healthy habits to take you there, the sooner you too will have days doing what you love.
I recently flipped through a journal from a course which was my first lesson into following my heart and manifesting my calling back when I was 20 years old. It has come to fruition more so than I ever imagined. The pages in that notebook are littered with naive ideas and lofty goals for a free spirit who couldn't even commit to a postal box for more than six months at a time.
At the time, I was incredibly passionate about documentary filmmaking and story-telling in general. I loved to write and and create. More importantly, in my chosen career path, I loved the idea of profoundly affecting people I would never meet that would change the way they saw the world. I had hoped to provide information they had not heard, see a sight they didn't know existed and maybe even introduce them to something new they would fall in love with. In doing this, I would get to share my passions, cultivate relationships, be creative, have opportunities to travel and make a difference by offering something good in the world. This last sentence was the key. It wasn't what I wanted to do, but what I wanted my life to look and feel like. It was WHY I was doing it. The other key to this fulfillment was a blurred line between what I did professionally and who I was personally. To me, being a filmmaker was WHO I was....until it wasn't.
In 2008 I was laid off when the company I worked for went bankrupt pretty much overnight. I had rebounded in a fallback career rather quickly and within a year was teaching yoga and indoor cycling, which were passionate hobbies of mine. This new freedom in my time allowed me to still do film work, but focus on artistic expressions rather than commercial product. My plan was that I would teach and make my own art until the job market turned around. Two years later, I found myself the owner of the only studio of it's kind in my city, combining yoga, cycling and art exhibitions. To those around me, this was a huge accomplishment. To me, I was still an unemployed filmmaker who just happened to have a yoga studio.
It was a struggle but it blossomed and we created a tight-knit community of fitsters (fit hipsters). We grew to multiple locations, more staff and suddenly I was afforded more time again. I started to see myself as a student and teacher of yoga more and more. I shared my passion every day and fell in love with the relationships I'd cultivated. I got to make a difference to someone's day each and every time I showed up for work and expand how they saw life. Eventually I got to travel and teach in exotic tropical destinations and was invited to share my knowledge in trainings and conferences across the United States. I got to engage in exactly what I was looking for when I was an eager 20 year old! My life looked exactly how I thought it would with the biggest centerpiece missing entirely. I wasn't a filmmaker, I was an entrepreneurial yogi and still I had the life I dreamed up so long ago.
It was hard for me to wrap my head around all of this and I took some time to do a retrospective in what had happened. I had manifested the same destiny I set out to accomplish under an entirely different set of circumstances. How could I possibly have the life I dreamed up without even knowing the path I would take? But then, something magical happened. I realized, everything had been laid out and I followed a congruent path because of the work I did to get here. It took a different form but all the steps I took worked!
And so, here it is:
The formula for manifesting your destiny!
1. WRITE IT DOWN
You may have heard of a Yale or Harvard study about goals that has been written about for years attributing goal outcome to writing it down. That study never happened. I had even referenced it from a Forbes article I read to help clients get motivated and was surprised to learn it was a myth. The one that did take place, however, was at Dominican University decades later which actually does offer a correlation in the findings of writing it down, accountability and reaching goals.
If you have a dream to travel, become a doctor, fight your depression, have a family, hold a handstand, whatever it may be, WRITE IT DOWN. Use direct affirming language, such as I am. I wrote down I am a filmmaker.
Even if the goal is something to do physically, we can write it in an active voice. For example, "I am an incredible handstander" can be a goal.
These I am statements are called Identity Goals. We want to hold these goals close to the vest because, "Identity goals are goals that ultimately influence a person's concept of who they are," suggests Art Markman Ph.D in a Psychology Today article.
Overall, the recent research does in fact suggest that writing down our goals helps us to achieve them. There is a power in words, especially when we put pen to paper. Writing it down creates action and action is what dictates priority. It also gives us something to be accountable to, rather than just being a thought floating in your head. The act of putting it into the Universe, being patient and a willingness to LISTEN to the call when it comes out is a process. Writing down your goal is the first step toward success.
I am ____________________________________________________________________________.
2. THE POWER OF WHY
When we investigate why we are drawn to doing something there is a reason behind it. If we get to the bottom of our reason and can answer why we want it, we realize what we are willing to give up on and put up with. This becomes your greatest strength in digging deep and not quitting, even if when we feel like the path we're on isn't the right one. Multi-level marketing companies have perfected the pitch of accessing WHY because it is a powerful tool to make someone accountable to something other than themselves. The power of your why gets a person to visualize what they want their future to look like. Remember what my whys were: share my passions, cultivate relationships, be creative, have opportunities to travel and make a difference by offering something good in the world.
I thought I completely derailed from the track when I was laid off. How would I reach those goals now that I didn't have the career to get me there? What I didn't realize at the time, and even for years, was that the new track was being laid down as I was approaching it. We start to recognize as we create this view of our future and why we want it, that the end game might not always be exactly what we want. Someone may want to become a doctor to help people through illness. If they don't get into medical school to become a doctor, maybe they find a rewarding career working as a diplomat in a conflict country. At the time it may seem like a huge career shift, and it is. But the underlying reason for wanting to do it is still fulfilled by the work they do and the life they lead. Does that make sense?
I have this goal because I really want _________________________________________________________________________________
3. STEPPING STONES
Create a pathway to make this lofty dream a reality so they can become attainable stepping stones toward that goal. If something shifts, re-write the route, not the destination. These steps lay a foundation to where you intend to go. And honestly, you can even forget about your destination for a little while and be present along for the ride. If you follow the steps, you will end up exactly where you want to be and, often times, arrive without even knowing it.
When I dreamed of being a documentary filmmaker so I could have the lifestyle I wanted, I didn't have a clue how to get there. I was also convinced it was being a filmmaker, not how my life looked or why, that was important to me. I didn't have a college degree yet, unbeknownst to me I would become a mother three years later, move to a city from the small town I lived in and so many other pieces to the puzzle would be placed in front of me. Each goal has a unique set of stepping stones, no two ever being the same. For many, this is the hardest part to realize. We are programmed in our culture to follow a general pattern in life: graduate college, get married, have a career, save for retirement, have children, take two weeks of vacation a year and eventually encounter happiness. Sound familiar?
This part of the process becomes a bit of a research and response situation and is definitely the most tedious. However, it will move freely and effortlessly when you are following the path and most likely feel tiring and ill-fitting when you aren't. The stepping stones set us up now for whatever may come. They will be a constant in life and this is where we start to learn when to say yes and no to that which serves our purpose in getting to that manifested place. It won't always be an active thought process either.
Take for example what I may have needed to get my goal accomplished. A college degree is helpful so that was on my list, as well as a mentor. I also knew I couldn't do what I wanted in the town I was in. I understood the power of relationships and saw the friendships that were nurturing my goal and the ones that were taking me away from it. I moved, worked full time, attended school, and eventually worked towards a graduate degree as a single mother. I followed my heart to take a training in my hobby of yoga, which inevitably turned into my career path leading me to the next place. If it weren't for that first step of going to college, I would have never taken my first yoga class!
Even if the pieces don't seem to add up, keep going. Listen to that inner voice that tells you what you love doing. If you are a rock climber, make time for it. If you are a foodie, enjoy the savory and sweet as much as possible. Those hobbies that you are drawn to tell you a lot about what we do and don't want.
One major decision that I need to make as my first stepping stone is _________________________________________________________________________________
Other things that may need to fall into place and I need to pay attention to are _________________________________________________________________________________
Things I love and will continue to do that have nothing to do with this goal are _________________________________________________________________________________
4. DISCOVER WHAT YOU DON'T WANT
This seems obvious but it has caught me up a time or two. I get personally invested in jobs, people and situations that don't serve me or any path I want to be on. I've found myself applying for 9-5 jobs where I would sit in a cubicle all week long and been hired just to quit it because I didn't like working in a cubicle. But had I not had opportunities arise that I didn't want, I wouldn't have known what I did what. I've also found inspiration from moments of working in places that ate my soul but later realized that one single piece of information I learned whether it be about insurance or the hoppiness of a beer is somehow useful in an urgent time of need later on. Don't question it, listen to it.
I've had unfortunate things happen over and over again because I either didn't admit to what I don't want or realized that a stupid decision I made was veering my away from my path. They don't always seem to be glaring you in the face, but I have definitely known I haven't wanted to do something and then followed through with it, only to create an even bigger mess. For instance, I realized I didn't want to own and manage studios anymore the way that I had been. It wasn't because I didn't love my work, or the people who were there, it was that I hated managing the teachers and dealing with the financials. So then why was a business concept two years later a talent management company where all I did was chase people and money? Maybe I'm a slow learner but eventually, after some not-so-fun experiences, I decided to come back to what I did want to do, and it wasn't that.
I definitely know I don't want to _________________________________________________________________________________
5. BE CONSISTENT
This is by far the hardest part of life in general for me. I'm varied in my habits of thinking, can digress for days and get board with routine, which is probably why I've always been drawn to being self-employed rather than having to show up to the same place every day.
I have noticed that when I'm consistent in something I'm focused on, I am able to complete it and it makes me feel good. No matter what facet of my life it comes up in, I can usually come back to consistency as to why something isn't working out, even with the consistency isn't my own fault. I've gained weight because I've been injured and unable to workout, I've set fire to some relationships because it's been easier to block them out then deal with what might come up, I've even moved away just to be able to start over again. While many other reasons have brought me to these same issues, it's usually inconsistency that makes me feel like I've taken two steps forward and one step back.
As an entrepreneur, especially one without a regular schedule, it is important to create habits that become daily rituals to stay focused and on track. On days work isn't scheduled, get up in the morning just as usual. Sleeping in in an hour later, or eating a sit-down breakfast rather than a smoothie on the go is fine since its still a routine and that is grounding. It is a constant awareness of time management, priorities and balancing work and life. Rarely do any two days in my week look the same, but I can tell you what I'm doing every Friday I'm home or out of town - and that stability of knowing what's going on, helps me connect deeper to my goals.
We have to start small and work our way to the big stuff. It's important for us to go through the regular wake up stuff, like brushing teeth, eating breakfast, showering, etc. If we fit our workouts, yoga practice, family time, solo time and everything into blocks throughout our days and weeks, it makes for a much more productive time when we are in work mode. Schedule EVERYTHING into a calendar from when bills are due to when packages or emails are expected to arrive. Go nuts - I even set a reminder at 2pm to check in with my own hydration. Setting reminders encourages follow through on deadlines we impose on ourselves.
Create a daily, weekly, monthly and annual calendar view to reference.
The daily tasks I need to input into my calendar are _________________________________________________________________________________
The weekly tasks I need to input into my calendar are _________________________________________________________________________________
The monthly tasks I need to input into my calendar are _________________________________________________________________________________
The annual tasks I need to input into my calendar are _________________________________________________________________________________
Self-care, friend/family commitments and things I want to make priorities outside of work time are the following _________________________________________________________________________________
I notice I'm inconsistent with _________________________________________________________
I notice I'm consistent with __________________________________________________________
There are so many things you can do to affect the outcome of reaching goals, finding contentment and being happy in your life. These five steps are building blocks to get your started on your way to manifesting the destiny you were born to reach. Other articles I've written offer guidelines to making the most of this life and compliment your manifestations. The more work you do the better. If you want assistance in taking this leap and prefer to have someone help you through it, I have room for several more apprentice spots for the year and also offer coaching. Those interested can mention this blog and receive 25% off any package.
Every great leader and change in history was a long shot. Don't become a victim of your circumstance - make the downfalls and short-comings a part of your story. By envisioning what you want life to look like and creating a road map to get there, you actually realize manifesting destiny is a lot easier than you had ever imagined.