The Solo Traveler
So, maybe this is a rant or just a stream of consciousness but I have to say it. What happened to solo travel? I mean REAL solo adventure, when you don't know where the hell you are, absolutely lost and completely alone, with the loneliness only loneliness can fix? What happened to feeling so alone in a foreign place and recognizing you like the company you keep, without all the distractions of what's happening at home.
I have been a world traveler my entire life and as an adult, most of it has been solo because I never used money as an excuse not to see the world. When my friends and I were broke during college, I took semesters off and traveled. When I was getting started in my career, I used it as a platform for furthering my travel bug. When I finally adulted and got my business to a point I could leave it for an extended period of time, I got on airplanes and saw the world. Alone on many occasions. My dad always told me that spending money on traveling the world was the only thing in life that would make me richer. And he was right.
This brings me to the reason for my rant - are we even having authentic and present experiences traveling anymore. What is solo travel really? One of my first solo trips was backpacking through Guatemala, El Salvador and Belize some 15 years ago. There were no smart phones, no iPods or Kindles, no way to see what all my friends back home were doing and absolutely no way of sharing what I was experiencing in the moment. I have vivid memories burned into my mind of breathtakingly beautiful water falls, exquisite jungle ruins and sunsets that literally brought tears to my eyes. I took pictures but they didn't get developed for weeks after I got back to the US. In a way, it felt like time stopped. Besides paying by the minute to check my hotmail account, there was no lifeline to the outside world besides what I carried on my back. Is this lost? If you are plugged in and sharing your beach handstand, wine at the bar, or your experience in the last taxi are you really solo? Are you really present?
I spent all of 2017 building a homestead in a new place and consciously did not travel. It feld like an eternity for someone used to several stamps in the old passport a year. It feels good to put down roots, but I can't help but have a twinge of envy when my friends post gorgeous photos in real time from across the globe. It's the in-thing now to be a "strong, independent person" so more and more folks are traveling alone and I'm so excited about this. The more people exchanging cultures, the better, as far as I'm concerned. But when I see what a traveler had for breakfast, lunch and dinner on my Facebook feed and can pinpoint the longitudinal coordinates of there exact location, is it really solo? Is it really present? Passing the time surfing social media, checking news and updating your profile photo and/or status every hour isn't exactly connecting within oneself. Maybe I'm wrong, but most travelers I meet want to see the world not only to exchange cultural experiences, but also to tune into their own deeper self and sense of purpose. Most travelers, not tourists, mind you, have a heightened sense of self.
I think being able to check maps, learn a phrase when you're trying to get directions in a new language and not lugging a rucksack full of books, CDs and maps is really cool. But are we still getting the benefits of solo travel out of traveling solo? Even when not alone, are you fully present with those you are with?
I lead retreats all over the world and I've found I don't very often post my own photos when I travel because I inevitably get tagged in student and fellow teacher posts. I sincerely appreciate it because it actually lets me drop off the radar even more. It seems selfish, I know, that I'm relying on everyone else to document our journey so I can be completely unplugged. And I fully understand that someone on a retreat across the globe is so excited about their experience they want to share it with friends and family. My question is this: Is it necessary people know in real time what your travel experience is? Does that diminish the experience or add to it? I'm genuinely concerned about what others think on this.
If this is something that has been bothering you or maybe just something you have pondered when sitting at a cafe alone half way around the world, feel free to see if the below list is something you are comfortable doing.
5 QUICK WAYS TO TRULY UNPLUG AND GET THE MOST OUT OF TRAVELING SOLO
Bring the smartphone but ditch the social media. If you are addicted to checking it, as most of us are, delete the social media apps while on the road.
Let others know you are uplugging from social media for a bit so you aren't temped to comment and message back right away. They will totally understand.
Turn your data and wifi off. It seems everywhere you go has wifi, which only makes it more tempting to constantly read news, text friends and surf the net. If you completely turn off your ability to use your phone for anything but emergency contact, it gives you time to reflect on your experience, allows you to maybe read a newspaper in another language to catch up on current events and dive into that book you've been wanting to read. It limits distractions so you can stay fully present.
If this all feels too hard, depending on your length of stay, pick designated times you allow yourself to check in with life back home on social media and communicate with friends and family. Maybe even post a pic of your most epic adventure so far but don't give them the play-by-play.
If you need to find your way, ask locals for directions and have a map with you. Yes, an actual paper map. Even if its hand-drawn and stuck in your wallet, see if you can learn to read it without GPS telling you where you are going. Interact to find your way. It is such a self-esteem booster and is a good reminder on our self-reliance abilities. Trust me, you will pat yourself on the back.
SAFETY DISCLAIMER: One thing It is important friends/family know where you are when you travel alone. Be sure they have your itinerary and if you stray away from it, as often happens in solo adventures, shoot a quick email or text to someone. Also have regular check-in times with someone at home so they know you are safe, whether it be daily or weekly. That way, if something happens, your contact back home has a date and time to pinpoint with your last location and hopefully you shared plans for moving on with your journey and any exciting new friends you have met.
I think this blog my have to be updated as I learn more from others what their experience is. Please chime in here and, ironically, on social media.