Big Share

Big Share: I have kept my shit together during this pandemic, the quarantine, everything. I was trucking right along living my best life, being productive, enjoying “me” time, playing with my kids and fur babies and then boom. Brandon’s death hit me like a ton of bricks. So this week I allowed myself to fall apart after a crazy series of events I couldn’t even write for a screenplay. I’ve ebbed and flowed between contentment and utter dispair over how fleeting life is. I’ve gotten way too introspective. I’ve zoomed out even further. I’m grateful for the life I’ve built but something is missing.

I thought long and hard about travel and what it means to me and how it connected me to Brandon. Costa Rica has been calling. And I finally answered thanks to Mitch who invited me along on his vacation. And then more awesome people joined in and I feel the community I need to get me through this. I wasn’t going to share about my trip on social media bc I feared judgment. Talle pushed me to do a social responsibity episode for our pod and hearing her comments made me defensive and cut me to my core, but I’m proud of her and us for opening a dialog about what my reaponsibilities are as a yoga teacher in this global situation right now. But I’m a human and mama first and have to show up for my family. Sometimes that means stepping back. So all this is a round about way to say, I’m sitting at DIA at 10am with a glass of rosé about to board a flight I should be on with my dear friend. I’m going to continue to sit with this. Only instead of doing it in the snow, I’m going to do it on a beach, and ride these waves of despair on a surf board.